My immaculate sense of timing

I am slowly realizing that somewhere sub-consciously I know a worst possible time to do something and then I actually do it at that particular instant. The idea I am trying to explain is slightly difficult to explain. So let me rephrase this differently. You know people can get away with as heinous a crime as a murder but some people may be punished for doing most innocuous of things just because they chose to do it at a wrong instant. I am here to talk about my mastery over the second scenario.

Let me prove it by some real life examples-

1) During my school time- It was I guess 7th or 8th grade. It was still those early innocent years for me when sitting in between the girls was considered a dreadful punishment given by a teacher. I guess most of the teachers in my school knew me by face at that time. In my opinion I was considered a “Good boy”. So we had this dance competition in our school. There was this very famous dance number during those times. Though I can’t remember its name but I was not very fond of it. But apparently every other girl in the school chose to show case her talent using this track. I was getting really fed-up with the song. And there came another girl and again this track started playing. I frustratingly said loudly “Aai hai, fir se…”. And just at that particular moment a pin drop silence swept across the hall since the speakers stopped functioning due to power cut. My words were heard across the hall and people thought I was saying “aai hai raani fir se”. The rest is history

2) During college days- Most of my friends know why 9 guys were expelled from my hostel. Again most innocuous of things but you never know if you chose a wrong moment to do it. And I always choose the wrong moment.

3) Today: - I must say today’s episode is not as embarrassing as the others but funny nevertheless. So we were discussing about the running/jogging habits of our colleagues. And we started discussing about Sumit and it was agreed that he runs like a girl with small and cute ass. Then I suggested a better word to describe a girl’s cute ass would be “tushy”. Then Mudit asserted that “tushy” is also used to describe a male ass. We had a fierce debate on this. The debate was fuelled with the advent of Gaurav who took this to a different dimension. His point of view was that “tushy” sounds feminine but he was not sure of meaning. He was also sure that I didn’t explain the complete problem to him. This meant we went to Sumit and but I don’t know what he said as I was quite eager to prove my point at that moment and I was browsing through online dictionaries which did not consider "tushy" an english word. Then I opened “urban dictionary” and searched the meaning of “tushy” in there. Until this point there were no female colleagues, but right at that moment enters Ruchi to pick up something from her desk which is unfortunately just beside my desk. Unaware of her presence, I was quickly scrolling down to see the meaning of the coveted word. The meaning that was written was “A Girl’s buttocks”. And just at the moment when Ruchi passed me, I read loudly and clearly in excitement – “A Girl’s buttocks!”. I swear this was totally unintentional.

I think these examples should be sufficient for proving my point.